記錄一下關(guān)于英文寫作練習(xí)的一點(diǎn)反思

自打2019年考完FCE，小朋友幾乎就不曾在英文寫作方面花過(guò)精力，其實(shí)就算匆匆備考FCE之時(shí)，我們也只是針對(duì)簡(jiǎn)單的Essay寫作，做了五段體基本的模式化練習(xí)，以應(yīng)付當(dāng)時(shí)的考試。雖然小朋友之前花在英語(yǔ)各個(gè)方面的時(shí)間不等，閱讀、聽力、語(yǔ)用、寫作和口語(yǔ)的花費(fèi)時(shí)間依次降低，寫作除了考前一周的練習(xí)之外，其他時(shí)間不看，而口語(yǔ)的備考都是在去天津考試的動(dòng)車上準(zhǔn)備的，可是考試成績(jī)卻是由低到高依次增加的，寫作和口語(yǔ)都能達(dá)到優(yōu)秀左右，所以這也讓老母親對(duì)娃娃的寫作和口語(yǔ)的練習(xí)一直不夠重視。

考慮到小朋友馬上就要進(jìn)入初中了，而最近兩年的英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)卻一直停滯不前，這對(duì)于接下來(lái)的學(xué)習(xí)是很不利的。所以近期老母親想讓小朋友進(jìn)行反推學(xué)習(xí)，即通過(guò)練習(xí)寫作（終端輸出）去發(fā)現(xiàn)自己其他方面的不足，以進(jìn)行專項(xiàng)訓(xùn)練來(lái)彌補(bǔ)不足。具體的實(shí)施規(guī)劃，我們娘兒兩還在探討，主要時(shí)間有限，目前又要準(zhǔn)備小升初的考試，還要準(zhǔn)備畢業(yè)展演，時(shí)間非常緊張。但周末的時(shí)候還是隨意地讓小朋友寫了點(diǎn)讀書感悟、觀影感悟之類的東東，總體來(lái)說(shuō)，沒有刻意的有效練習(xí)，小朋友在英語(yǔ)習(xí)作的主題、結(jié)構(gòu)安排，修辭使用和行文規(guī)范方面暴露出很多的問(wèn)題，值得我們?nèi)シ此?、去改進(jìn)。

上周末小朋友應(yīng)老師的要求，觀看了電影《奇跡男孩》。記得17年電影剛上映的時(shí)候，老母親就好一頓安利，可那時(shí)候小朋友不為之所動(dòng)，現(xiàn)在在老師的圣旨下，不得不看了，卻看得淚流滿面，哈哈，出乎老母親的意料。據(jù)老母親觀察，小朋友不屬于淚點(diǎn)很低的那種，但是這部電影卻觸動(dòng)了他，看來(lái)同齡人的世界還是相通的，他說(shuō)電影中那些朋友之間相處的片段就如同他們學(xué)校生活的日常，他很能體會(huì)主人公的心情。

看完電影之后，小朋友主動(dòng)做了一份簡(jiǎn)單的手賬來(lái)述說(shuō)自己的觀影感悟，老母親追加了一項(xiàng)要求：寫一篇英文的觀影感悟，沒想到小朋友痛快地答應(yīng)了。可能是真的有所感，所以才有想要說(shuō)想要寫的東西吧。

以下是小朋友的英文觀影感悟的全文：

Wonder

Andy

What are wonders? Are they magnificent buildings ，or are they incredible feats? No wonder is more impressive than the wonder of gaining friends despite ugliness on the outside. 

People are not perfect. So there is a chance that they need to have surgeries ，the scars will affect people's opinion of how they look. But having scars on your face physically doesn't mean there are scars there emotionally. So it is unjust to bully people that are "ugly" physically.  

Being different from everybody else may let you want to be expected. But, the thing is, you don't need to become ordinary. You are already ahead of everybody else. How you are abnormal is a chance to complete your high expectations and make your dream come true! You don't need to be the robot-like people that are normal. Be yourself!

Maybe some guys will get bullied, but if they help others, the simplest version of friendship will form. Anything can't separate them. They will fight together. Their company will warm others around until there is a group ready to fight for one clause. At the end of all our speeches, our group always says, "Without the support and ideas of our teammates, we can't do anything as great as this." It is true. When you accomplish anything, there is always a small group of people at the back, sacrificing so much for victory. 

Just like your many friends, your family will support you whenever there is trouble. Your family is somewhat like a good harbor with calm water in which you can harbor your boat of dreams because they can always give you suggestions about improving yourself. Your family will be taking care of you. But, you can't always seek help from your family. There will and must be a day when you have to leave this safe harbor and face the wind and rain of the world outside. However, you know that your family will be supporting you no matter how far away.

Many people may scoff at you, but you will get accustomed to devising a tactic to avoid it! Still, other's words are not so important. You can use them to change yourself (as a sort of tool), or you can throw it away as you please. 

Who or what can be the wonder? Anyone or anything can be a wonder. We all can perform the miracle. Wonders don't happen because of so-called talent. Wonders happen because he or she wants to become "a better one." Remember, anyone can complete their dream through hard work and achieve the same feats as people with talents have. 

He who does not seem to have a talent has a hidden talent! Talent is the hard-working spirit that shows itself in the things we do daily.

Wonders will keep happening all around the land. We will " sing our song in a shrill voice."(quoted from one of Tagore's poems) And we will keep making mistakes and wonders. We aren't just writing the legend of ourselves, and we are also adding new things to the whole history of humanity.

寫完之后，小朋友將習(xí)作發(fā)給他的英語(yǔ)老師，老師給出了advice如下：

1. I love the book you mentioned a lot. My suggestion is to add signposts at the biginning, which help you stick to your topic all the way and help your readers analyze your thesis. 

2.Provide more evidence to clarify your points. Pretend there are people who hold different ideas and make your ideas explained in a logical order. 

3.Students at your age might feel embarrassed when they recognise they are “ different”. Please keep in mind that difference accomplish the diversity of our world. A mature society will adopt all kinds of choices.

看過(guò)了老師的評(píng)語(yǔ)之后，我覺的有幾點(diǎn)問(wèn)題是今后需要小朋友特別注意的：

首先，小朋友并沒有跟老師說(shuō)清楚他寫此文的目的是什么，所以老師可能以為這是一篇讀書感悟了，當(dāng)然了這個(gè)和觀影感悟有相似之處。但是其實(shí)成文之后也可以看出，娃娃自身也沒有搞清楚自己本文的寫作目的是什么，而這個(gè)寫作目的從一定程度上決定了寫作的體裁和主題，其實(shí)影響還是很大的。所以從中可以看出，小朋友對(duì)寫作目的的不明確，會(huì)影響他寫作的嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)性，更加影響讀者的可讀性。

第二，小朋友寫作還是很隨意的，沒有很好地進(jìn)行結(jié)構(gòu)梳理，僅僅是隨心之筆吧。但是對(duì)于習(xí)作而言，主題和結(jié)構(gòu)的把握總是最為重要的，所以應(yīng)該引導(dǎo)小朋友理清不同文體和寫作主題下的習(xí)作結(jié)構(gòu)。尤其是對(duì)于論點(diǎn)結(jié)構(gòu)順序的安排，應(yīng)該成為小朋友進(jìn)行習(xí)作練習(xí)的引導(dǎo)重點(diǎn)。

第三，小朋友現(xiàn)在還沒有明確地寫議論文的意識(shí)，對(duì)于論點(diǎn)和論據(jù)之間的關(guān)系還不是很明確，通篇空談?wù)擖c(diǎn)，沒有有效的論據(jù)支撐使得論點(diǎn)很空泛，沒有信服力。

第四，小朋友當(dāng)下的寫作沒有任何寫作策略的運(yùn)用意識(shí)，之前梳理了那么多閱讀策略，卻不能為他所用，使得“學(xué)以致用”成為空談。從另一個(gè)層面上講，小朋友目前的英文學(xué)習(xí)，各個(gè)模塊之間缺乏有效的鏈接，沒有進(jìn)行系統(tǒng)學(xué)習(xí)和應(yīng)用的意識(shí)，這種割裂的學(xué)習(xí)是不利于娃娃進(jìn)階的。

第五，通過(guò)上面grammarly的統(tǒng)計(jì)報(bào)告來(lái)看，小朋友在用詞和句型結(jié)構(gòu)方面是比較單一的，語(yǔ)氣也偏生硬，整體行文缺乏流暢性，更談不上美感和可讀性了，可加工和進(jìn)步的潛力巨大。

第六，小朋友目前的英文寫作中出現(xiàn)了中文構(gòu)思-英文翻譯的思維痕跡，這和之前的完全通過(guò)英文構(gòu)思寫作的模式完全不同，這可能與近期泛讀量下降，沒有進(jìn)行系統(tǒng)寫作練習(xí)有很大關(guān)系。

先總結(jié)到這里吧，和小朋友溝通后會(huì)做進(jìn)一步的修改、補(bǔ)充，然后記錄下來(lái)。